Sprechen Sie Bacon?

This is going to take a while before it gets to bacon or bacon jam but hang in there!

The other day a girl asked me if I spoke any “fancy languages”. I pondered this question as I was not sure which languages are considered “fancy”. For some reason, my mind went back to my first day of Japanese 101 with Dr. T. The first thing he taught us to say was, "Watashi wa Bakada." Translation, "I am an idiot."  Dr. T was funny... But it's the second thing he taught us that really stuck with me.

A passing grade in the class was achieved by knowing how to order a beer then navigate to a bathroom in a Japanese immersion scenario. I will never forget "Watashi ni biru o atearu kudase" and "O toire doko deska," and I have always made it a point to learn those two phrases first when exploring a new language and culture.

So I tell the girl asking about "fancy languages" that I can order a beer and find a bathroom on over half the globe. If this impressed her, she did not let on. She asked, "Given your business shouldn't you know how to ask for bacon in as many languages?" I thought about this for moment then replied, "No, but I should be able to say 'I have the bacon,' in as many languages."

And so should anybody who is traveling abroad. Honestly how else are you going to get you out of a pickle with the Russian mob in Moscow, end a standoff in Mexico, or get out of being Shanghaied in Shanghai. Your corny tourist translator book won't help you nearly as much as exclaiming, "I have bacon" while producing a jar of The Bacon Jams.

So here we go

Afrikaans- Ek het spek

Chinese- wo' you laru

Filipino- Mayroon akong bacon

Finish- Minulla on pekonia

French- J'ai lard

German- Ich habe Speck

Greek- echo beikon

Hindi- Miam bekana hai

Irish- ta me bagun

Italian- ho pancetta

Japanese- watashi wa bekon o motte iru

Korean- nanuen beikeon-i

Russian- u menya yest bekon

Spanish- Tengo tocino

Swahili - Mimi na bacon

Swedish- jag har bacon

Yiddish- ych habn bacon

Zulu- I naso ubhekeni